Trinity Sunday

“In this Trinity, none is afore or after other;

none is greater or less than another.”

 As in the Holy Trinity, so in this Parish.

Going Nutkins

  

 

One of the plus sides of our new-found freedom in the great outdoors is all the new friends we are able to make.  Last week, the Vicar was off sunning herself in Normandy (she said it was a “Deanery Clergy Conference” in a monastery, but we’re never fooled by such fibs), so we got the Parishioners all to ourselves for once.

La Editatrice was round every morning and evening, to give us food and watch the telly with us, sometimes accompanied by El Toro, who seemed to be worried about the state of our furniture, and kindly encouraged us to sharpen our claws on something else instead. 

The Churchwarden and Head Server also came round once a day, as they enjoy our garden and wanted us to show them around.  It was quite exhausting, as they seem to enjoy running and chasing games, and we had to amuse them for hours before they finally allowed us to come in and have a sleep on the hall rug.

 

Since we have been out in the garden, we have also discovered that we have some rather interesting neighbours.  The first we saw of them was a couple of weeks ago, when one popped by the study window to say hello.  

They are a bit odd looking, being smaller than us and grey, with big fluffy tails, but at least they have the right number of legs.  Mary had a good conversation with the visitor through the glass.

 

It turns out that there is a whole family of these chaps living under our roof – well, on our roof to be precise.  We have been pointing this out to the Vicar for quite a while, as we could hear them scurrying around the guttering.  In the end, it was the Churchwarden and Head Server who finally listened to us (although even then, Mary had to actually stand at the window and point them out).

The Vicar didn’t really get the message until Saturday, when one of our friends decided to drop in for a visit.  Quite literally.  Martha was sunning herself in the living room when the little grey bullet shot out of the fireplace and across the room.  This was a great game, and she was soon in hot pursuit until the squirrel ran into the dining room, and the Vicar rather unsportingly shut the door and locked us both out.  We don’t exactly know how the scenario played out for the next half an hour, other than that the Vicar came out and reported that the poor thing had got itself wedged behind the sideboard, and the Churchwarden had to be drafted in to start moving furniture.

By the time the Webmeister and Cellarer arrived, there was a full-scale rescue plan in operation, and we came in just in time to see the squirrel emerge from behind the sideboard, only to wedge itself behind the radiator.  It was finally got free by a combination of the Vicar’s fingers and some handy paint rollers, and the Head Server directed the poor thing back into the living room.  Then we all formed a human/feline shield, and amidst lots of tapping and the clever use of the living room curtains, our little friend was finally ushered out into the garden.  It scampered away from the house rather quickly; no doubt it was as alarmed as we are by the general state of untidiness, despite La Editatrice’s best efforts to straighten things up in the Vicar’s absence.

The whole episode was rather exciting, so we all had to retire to the garden for a lounge about in the sun before the Cellarer and Churchwarden went off to play with guitars in Farlington.  Meanwhile, the Webmeister (who, confusingly, is now also a Churchwarden) set about painting the radiators in the dining room, no doubt spurred into action by the squirrel’s lack of appreciation for their pink colour.

Luckily, the Webmeister decided to paint the radiators white instead of pink.  This is a much better colour, and we showed our appreciation by trying to give him a hand with the work.  He is clearly not much of a painter, as he was using brushes and rollers, which seemed to us like a very long-winded way round.  Obviously, tails are much better suited for the purpose, as Mary was quick to point out.

Bizarrely, the Webmeister wouldn’t take our advice, and just kept on with his brushes, all the while muttering darkly about “hairs in the paintwork.”  Funny man.  He didn’t seem to mind having to kneel amidst a pile of peanuts, which the Vicar had inexplicably decided to throw all around the room in a pathetic attempt to lure the squirrel out of the window. 

Humans, eh?  If you ask us, they’re all nuts.

 

Tom the Baptist

 Thanks to our friend Nicholas Mario on the Isle of Sheppey for emailing us this story.  We believe several of the Vicar’s Parishioners will find it strangely relevant… 

 
Tommy’s Mother looked out the window and noticed TOMMY
 ’playing church’ with their cat.  He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.

She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see that Tommy was baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, ‘Tommy, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!’

Tommy looked up at her and said, ‘He should have thought about that before he joined my church.’

The Only Way is Up

Coelos ascendit hodie: Alleluia!

Jesus Christus, Rex Gloriae: Alleluia!

 Today is the day when we gain the promise of heaven, and God, by the Ascension of Jesus, promises the sanctification of our bodies.  To avoid you having to listen to the Vicar, we offer some words from that great feline Pope, S. Leo the Great:

Since then Christ’s Ascension is our uplifting, and the hope of the Body is raised, whither the glory of the Head has gone before, let us exult, dearly-beloved, with worthy joy and delight in the loyal paying of thanks. For to-day not only are we confirmed as possessors of paradise, but have also in Christ penetrated the heights of heaven, and have gained still greater things through Christ’s unspeakable grace than we had lost through the devil’s malice. For us, whom our virulent enemy had driven out from the bliss of our first abode, the Son of God has made members of Himself and placed at the right hand of the Father, with Whom He lives and reigns in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God for ever and ever. Amen.

     

For the full text of Leo’s sermon,

click here.