(With apologies to Billy Bragg and his fabulous 1986 album; pay no more than 59p for this clumsy attempt to prove the Vicar is not all Take That and Madonna…)
The Vicar is confined to barracks today, as she is waiting on the delivery of a new mobile phone (the last one having met some sort of sad, though unspecified, fate) – so we finally have an opportunity to use the computer.
On Friday we had a nice visit from the Red Rector, who spent quite a bit of time lamenting his low profile on this Blog, despite the fact that he appears (avec biretta and donkey) on our Millinerianism page.
So, Father, we dedicate this post to you, and your very welcome (if slightly unlikely) skills with the dreaded Tax Return.
Yes, the Vicar has finally filled in and returned her Self-Assessment forms for the previous two years. Well, OK, the Red Rector filled them in and returned them, but what did you expect? He brought the copies to the Vicarage, which the Vicar carefully put away in her nice neat filing system (organised by the Webmeister; again, what did you expect?).
This is all rather ironic, as the post arrived at the Vicarage just after the Red Rector, bringing with it a new tax form, which this year has to be completed even earlier. The Vicar promised faithfully that never again would she let herself get into a muddle with the whole thing. We don’t believe a word of it, but we will do our best to encourage this new-found efficiency, since the Revenue owes us lots of money which could be better spent on important things like catnip and kibble.
Anyway, after much time considering the Vicar’s manifold sins and wretchedness, the Red Rector set about chopping up mounds of vegetables (now gently festering in our fridge) and the Vicar hung about complaining of a headache. This was quite dull, so we slunk upstairs for a well-deserved nap.
By Monday, the Vicar was still whingeing about her head, so we dispatched her off to see her Spiritual Director. (Spiritual Direction is the technical church term for when one vicar listens to another vicar whingeing for a while, then tells them to stop it.)
While she was gone, we had a chance to gen up on what the real clerics have to say on matters economical. As it turns out, S. John Chrysostom preached a rather fine sermon on Acts 2:42-47. The Vicar preached about this text at Mass on Sunday too, but we suspect that Chrysostom did it rather better. He didn’t blether on about sheep, you know.
“It is not for lack of miracles that the church is stagnant; it is because we have forsaken the angelic life of Pentecost, and fallen back on private property. If we lived as they did, with all things common, we should soon convert the whole world without any need of miracles at all.”