Communication seems to be a perennial problem in today’s society, despite widespread literacy, the TV and even the invention of the Blog. Take us, for instance – when we turn up at the foot of the Vicar’s bed at three in the morning, miaow loudly, jump on her feet and then bite her eyebrows, it should be obvious what we require. Food. Or possibly egress to the garden. Or maybe a cuddle. Could be just a bit of attention. What we clearly do not require is the only thing we ever get: a bit of a grunt, and then silence.
The Vicar herself knows that it’s sometimes difficult to get her message across. You can always tell when she’s having a bad day in this regard, because she emits little sighing noises, often accompanied by the phrases “why don’t people just read what’s written?” or “it’s perfectly simple.” This is called Willmerisation.
It seems the spoken word is little better than the written. We were going to add the words “house elf” and “Paschal candle” in this regard, but apparently we are Never To Speak Of It Again. So we shan’t. Suffice to say that we find texts, emails and wet paws on the face to be much more immediate forms of communication.
As it turns out, the whole business of communication problems is no new thing in the Church. We recently found this pithy four-minute guide, from the time of Jesus through Church History to the modern day, which should explain all.
And by the way, the Parish Fair is on September 6th. Start making chutney now.